When Your Body Says "Not Right Now" – My Ongoing Back Pain Journey

I’ve had chronic back pain since I was 20—half my life now, if you’re counting. I turn 40 next month, and for most of those years, I’ve been navigating what I can and can’t do with a spine that doesn’t always cooperate.

The root of it? A pretty intense case of degenerative disc disease at L5-S1 that’s been my constant companion. In fact, my spine doctor told me that I won the award for worst back he'd seen for someone my age. I love a gold star, but I would like to give that one back.

But in November, something new happened.

While running the Route 66 Marathon in Tulsa, I herniated the disc at L4-L5. I didn’t know it at the time—I just woke up the next day and knew something was really wrong. I could barely walk. Sleeping hurt. Standing hurt. Sitting hurt the most. Everything was uncomfortable, and nothing made it better.

I waited six weeks before finally seeing a doctor since I thought it was the same thing I'd dealt with for years (classic runner move, right?). It was another four weeks before I had a clear diagnosis. I’d just assumed it was a flare-up—more painful than usual, but something I could work through. Spoiler: it wasn’t.

From Pain to Progress

Once I knew what was going on, I went all in on recovery:

• Physical therapy multiple times a week

• Dry needling to help with muscle tension

• A steroid injection that brought temporary relief (more on that story in a future post—because whew)

• And Pilates 2–3x a week to build core strength and support my spine

  
  

By April, things were finally turning around. I was back to running—slowly, steadily—and training for the Berlin Marathon with my incredible crew at Rogue Dallas (love you crazy 4 a.m. runners 💛).

I had just finished a glorious 16-mile run and was feeling hopeful. Strong. Capable. Like I might actually pull off this aggressive goal I had for the race.

And then... it came back.

The Setback I Didn’t See Coming

I wasn’t doing anything dramatic—just taking a rest day. I walked, did a little extra stretching and mobility work, and then… boom. The awful pain returned. Same spot. Same intensity. And now, I’m back on the sidelines.

No Berlin.

No running for now.

Limited movement.

And honestly? It sucks.

That’s part of why I’m writing this.

To Anyone Struggling with Chronic Pain…

1. If you’ve dealt with back pain—truly, I feel you. The physical part is hard, but the mental part might be harder. It’s frustrating, isolating, and defeating when your body keeps betraying your plans. Especially when you’ve done everything right.

   
   

2. If you’re sidelined—by injury, illness, life—please know you’re not alone. Whether it’s missing a race, stepping back from workouts, or just not being able to do what you love right now, I see you. And I’m right there too.

   
   

Every time I see a running route or a workout from my coach, I feel a wave of FOMO—and yeah, a little sadness and anger. I’m heartbroken that I won’t be on that plane to Berlin with my people. Those same people who wake up at 4 a.m. to beat the Texas heat and chase impossible things with me.

But I’m reminding myself—and maybe you need to hear this too—the race will still be there next year.

Our time will come again. When our bodies are ready. And not a minute too soon.

…And What Comes Next

After a lot of thinking, imaging, second opinions, and honestly—grief—I’ve decided to have a microdiscectomy next week.

It wasn’t an easy decision. I’ve spent the past 9 months doing everything I possibly could to avoid surgery: physical therapy, Pilates, mobility work, dry needling, rest, cross-training. I was doing everything right... and still, the pain came back.

Whether it was a flare-up or a re-herniation, my body was clearly telling me something.

So I’m listening.

Because sometimes, even when you do all the right things, your body still needs more help. And that’s okay.

I’ll share more about the surgery and recovery in the coming weeks—what it’s like, how I’m feeling, and what I’m learning through the process. But for now, I’m just taking it one day at a time.

If you’re dealing with something similar—drop a comment, send a message, or just know this space is here for you. Not every part of wellness is about green smoothies and endorphins. Sometimes, it’s just about staying patient, staying kind to your body, and waiting for the comeback.