Early in my career, I had what I like to call a "trial by fire" client. High expectations, low patience, and absolutely no boundaries when it came to when or how they'd reach out. I was pretty junior at the time, but due to staffing changes, I suddenly found myself as the primary actuarial expert on a large account — long before I felt truly ready.

He would call at all hours — evenings, weekends. I remember being yelled at on a Saturday because I didn't pick up immediately. He hung up on me more than once, barked orders, and made it clear that my work was never fast enough. At times, it crossed the line into borderline abusive behavior.

I won't sugarcoat it: it was brutal. I lost sleep. I questioned my competence. Tears were shed. But as miserable as I was in the moment, with some distance and reflection, I'm genuinely grateful for that experience.

WHY IT MADE ME BETTER

It toughened me up — I stopped crumbling under someone else's frustration. I realized a client's bad day wasn't about me — it was about their pressure, their expectations, their stress.

It taught me that many clients don't truly understand actuarial work — and it's my job to bridge that gap. His confusion came partly from not knowing what I actually did. It forced me to get better at explaining complex concepts clearly and showing the value behind the numbers.

It made me a better communicator. I learned to be extra clear in what I said and sent — anticipating questions before they came, setting realistic boundaries, and standing firm when needed.

It built resilience. After that client, very few interactions rattled me. I had seen (and survived) the worst.

If you're in the middle of a nightmare situation right now, hang in there. It won't last forever — but the resilience, poise, and thick skin you build will serve you for decades.